To: Stares-a-Lot

Ummm … you just asked me if it was a long weekend. Don’t you have a calendar you twit?! I should have told you it wasn’t just to see if you would have come to work on Monday.

And while we’re at it … please stop staring at me so much. Honestly … I don’t get you. You walk by my desk and stare at me, I walk by yours and you stare at me … I feel like whenever I’m within your peripheral vision, something goes off inside you telling you to fixate your eyes on me. It’s fucking creepy – stop it.