To: Annoying Non-Employee

Ok your thing is this: you're not actually employed by our company but you work for one of our biggest clients and since you don't want to live where their headquarters are, you rent office space from us.

I just have a favour to ask of you.

Please stop asking me where people are when you can't find them.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE!!
Why the fuck would I know? What makes you think I know? Why the fuck would I care?

Please stop annoying me!