To: Cute New Hire

OK wow ... I wasn't expecting this.

When you arrived this morning, I thought you were just here for an interview. I just found out today is your first day. Well kudos to the powers-that-be; they have finally hired someone that doesn't make my eyes bleed when I look at them. You're cute. You're not super hot, drop-dead gorgeous or anything but you have that geeky sort of cuteness that I'm so fond of. Basically, I wouldn't kick you out of bed.

I'll call you Cute New Hire for now, but that will change once I get to know you better.