To: Limp-Wristed Sloucher

I worked late tonight in preparation for a big meeting tomorrow.

You walked into the kitchen while I was copying some documents to use the fax machine and didn't bother to acknowledge me.

Umm hello? Hi .. yeah I'm new here ... don't I look like a stranger to you?! Why don't you say hello or something ... I dunno maybe be friendly or something.

Call me crazy or something but I find that kind of moment a little awkward. Clearly you don't know who I am and I don't know who you are yet; we're standing thisclose to one another and you're not even compelled in the least to welcome me to the firm or even just say hello and introduce yourself or something. Fuck you, you stupid ass-faced bitch. Yeah that's right, you're pretty too. Pretty fucking unfortunate looking!

So I decide to be the bigger person and say hello and extend my hand. Your handshake made me want to smash your face into that fucking copier and then make copies of it for all my friends. Not only did you extend the wrong hand, you didn't even extend it in a handshake manner. It was like you wanted to me kiss it or something and the shake was so limp I almost threw up.

Later when I walked by your office I noticed you were all slouched down in your chair the way Second-in-Command used to sit. So yeah, I hate you already.

Bitch.