OMG ... seriously. I'm walking down the street on my lunch and then I spot you.
Black and white polka dot a dress, which on it's own I suppose I could handle; but with matching black and white polka dot shoes honey I don't know. You looked like a fucking dalmation!
It's a shame really. You probably looked in the mirror this morning and thought you looking quite cute.
Just listen for fuck's sake!! It would save both of us time.
Phone Rings ME: Hello YOU: Hi it's Danielle calling from [I have no idea], about a paid market research study on the weekend of September 7. ME: I'm out of town on September 8 so I'm probably not available unless it is being held on September 7 as well. YOU: Well I just need to go through the questionnaire with you first to see if you qualify.
What the fuck Danielle?! If I'm not even in town, then I don't qualify. Idiot.
I'm sorry I couldn't help but overhear you while waiting in line today for a turkey wrap telling your friend, "yeah I try to stay away from the all the vegetable things".
Oh sweetie, by the looks of it, you probably think butter is a vegetable.
It's interesting - you and I "met" this weekend two years to the day in the same city and in the same club that I met my ex in. My ex was in town as well but at a different event that night. Thankfully.
I say we "met" because I'd call this more of an official meeting; although we have met before and when I proved it you, you were not only shocked but very apologhetic (not necessary, by the way).
You approached me.
YOU: I see you everywhere! How's it going? What's your name? ME: I'm well but we have met before. YOU: No! ME: Yes, we have. When we met at [club name here], we danced together and you french kissed me and gave me your number. I sent you a text the next day as I was heading out of town for the rest of the weekend but never heard from you. YOU: No! I don't think so. Are you serious? I wouldn't have done that. ME: I'll prove it you. Give me your number again [I've since purchased a new phone and didn't bother to copy it over], I'll call you now and I bet you've got my number in your phone.
You know how this plays out. I called you and there was my name and number on your screen.
After returning from my weekend get-a-way, all I wanted to do was survive the short 3-day work week. It was a struggle but I managed. Your call this afternoon made me laugh. You had called me earlier hoping to speak to my boss who was not in. I called you back when I found a suitable time for you to talk to him.
ME: Hi, its [my name here]. [Boss's name here] will give you a call at 6:00, does that work for you? YOU: Yeah, that's fine. Do you have my number? ME: [Do I have your number?! We ARE talking on the phone aren't we? I did just call you, didn't I?! Idiot.] Yes, is the number I just called good?
