To: Explosive Colleague

The fact that you blew your nose while in the stall did nothing to disguise the fact that it sounded like your ass just exploded in there. How embarassing for you.

To: Stupid & Impatient

I was in front of you in line and ordered my sandwich before you. That makes your question to the sandwich maker as we were both waiting there ("Is that the egg salad sandwich? Is that my sandwich?") totally stupid.

I'm standing right there in front you waiting for mine! What the fuck makes you think they were going to make yours before mine? It wasn't even an egg salad sandwich and if it was ... it would have been mine!!

You stupid impatient fuck. Seriously! You even sighed and looked at your co-worker or friend or whatever with disdain. Fuck you. Be patient and waiting your fucking turn and stop acting like things should be ready when you snap your fingers.

To: M

I feel totally cheated ... we were robbed.

You should be here now.

You'll be missed but not forgotten.

To: Back-Up #2

I feel like anytime I see you, you're eyes are not completely open. Like you're some kind of stoner or something.