Just Sayin's All

To: N

2009-06-05T21:26:00.002-04:00

A big part of the reason we got together last night was because I had a rediculously bad blind date the night before with someone else and I knew with you things were a guarantee. I wasn't even interested in watching the movie we put on afterwards.

Despite our coloured past, I get that you like me a lot. I know that seeing you is probably not the smartest thing on my part.

To: N

2009-05-17T01:09:00.002-04:00

Although I said you could, I really didn't want you to spend the night. I don't really have brunch plans in the morning; I only said that because I figured you'd opt to stay at your place rather than be woken early tomorrow if you stayed at mine. I'm glad it worked.

To: M

2009-04-20T18:36:00.003-04:00

I lied when I told you I didn't know you were married. I assumed you had an arrangement that included the kind of fun we had.

Despite your recent declaration that you've parted ways and requested a divorce, you know as well as I do that we are not going to be together. I really wish we could be but it isn't going to happen so focus on fixing what's broken in your relationship. You love each other and you owe each other that.

To: Airport All-Nighter

2009-04-04T10:00:00.002-04:00

I enjoyed dinner the other night but I not sure I'm that interested in seeing you again. I brought you back to my place afterwards as a test of our chemestry more than anything else and I feel like you failed. It should be easier than that.

I sent a text to N. after you left.

To: The Hungarian

2009-03-31T21:07:00.002-04:00

I must have a lot of patience.

I recognized you immediately as I approached you but only as a lesser attractive version than I was expecting. [Sigh ... yup, again]

Truth be told though, I enjoyed our conversation but I'm sorry there just is not a fit there. I hope I made that clear in the most polite way possible.

As we were chatting, I noticed my dinner date for tomorrow night was calling...

To: N

2009-03-29T17:49:00.002-04:00

You know, last summer I swore off ever seeing you again so Thursday night was just for fun. I actually expected to regret it.

I didn't though.

But that doesn't mean things have changed.

To: the worldly wine-wannabe

2009-03-17T20:23:00.002-04:00

I really need to stop agreeing to some of these dates. Again, this one was over in my mind the minute it started.

The first thing I saw was your sunglasses and I'm sorry but if there is anyone who knows a thing or two about sunglasses, it's me. Yours looked rediculous on you. Only a certain person can wear a lense with that type of gradient fade to it. You're not one of those people.

When you said hello I thought your front teeth were going to reach out and bite me or something. I think if they were pushed back slightly, your face would be a happier place to look at.

I liked your suggestion of a wine bar for this date but after discovering the aforementioned unfortunate attributes you had, I knew I either had to fake an illness immediately or get us there as quick as possible so I could medicate this situation with a glass of chianti.

Upon arriving:

WINE STEWARD: What do you like?
ME: I like chianti.
WINE STEWARD: We have a nice...
ME: I'll take it.

To: the "organic" one

2009-03-15T22:42:00.002-04:00

Ugh! You hippy artsy ones are all the same. Everything with you is bad. Corporate philanthropy is bad because they’re really only looking out for their best interest. D esigner clothing is bad because it’s overpriced and conformist. Bars and clubs are bad because they’re only about shameless pick-ups. Get over it! Get the fuck over it! Companies are actually giving you money to enjoy events you go to, designer clothing is nice way to treat yourself with money you earned yourself and you don’t like going out because of your unfortunate looks. Your fucking bitterness about your lot in life is not attractive to anyone and perhaps when you grow up you’ll grow out of this sense of entitlement and superiority you have.

For the record, our date today was over the minute I set eyes on you. Yep, no way no how! I'm not sure what I was thinking when I agreed to this one. What follows is always the part I hate, however; me pretending to care, listen, stay awake. I’m polite about it though and I think even very friendly.

I lied when I said I had to answer my vibrating blackberry – there was no text message. I actually sent a text to my friend telling him to call me in 20 minutes and to just follow my lead. Twenty minutes later that call was made up – my friend didn’t have a sick cat that needed to go to the vet. My friend doesn’t even have a cat.

To: N

2008-08-30T15:35:00.002-04:00

I'm too good for your games fuck face.

Last night's conversation (online):

YOU: Maybe do something this weekend?
ME: Are you sure you really want to? Last time we made plans you stood me up and didn't return my text messages that day.
YOU: Yeah I'm sure.
ME: Not trying to be an asshole here or anything, honest I'm not - but I'm just not sure I believe you.
YOU: Fine (goes offline)

Fuck you, you fucking shit-for-brains douche. You blew it and you know it. I never wanted you from the start and now I never want to see you again.

To: N

2008-08-25T19:24:00.003-04:00

You're no longer a good fuck buddy. You're unreliable and you've really let yourself go since we first met last October. I've decided to hold auditions for your replacement.

To: A

2008-08-17T22:04:00.003-04:00

You were cuter in the bar where it was dark than you were this morning in my bed.

I sort of regret exchanging numbers. I doubt I'll use yours and I'm hoping you don't use mine.

To: Class Cheaters

2008-07-31T22:34:00.003-04:00

The two of you have a lot of nerve asking the teacher this evening what could be done about your poor mark on test from last class. You got 10 our of 15, that's not a terrible mark considering the two you cheated during the exam. My friend and I watched you blatenly read answers from your book and speak to each other. So I'm sorry you stupid fuck, you dug you're own grave. Fucking accept the mark you got and shut the fuck up. The alternative is that we expose you as cheaters and you fail the entire class. That's right. Fuck you. Shut your fucking mouth and stop being the annoying bitches that you are and perhaps we'll let you pass the class.

To: Instructor

2008-07-28T18:51:00.002-04:00

So I get that you don't like me or my friend. Don't worry, we hate you too. You've spent all term talking shit, giving good marks to idiots, and being a general douche about things. Now, with six classes left to go, we somehow have to manage to write two exams and give two presentations. Thanks asshole. Thanks for making the next three weeks of my life hell. Your class evaluation form from me is going to suggest you learn some time management skills and perhaps not flirt with the self-obsessed skank who thinks she's God's gift to this class.

To: Classmate P.

2008-07-28T18:48:00.002-04:00

Listen dude, my friend and I obliged when you needed two models for you to take a photo of during your presentation last week. We don't want to be your friend or anything so stop talking to us. Neither one of us gives a shit. Oh and when you were showing us the pictures you took of us, was it really necessary to hold the camera in front of your crotch while zooming in and out on our heads? That was gross you creepy fuck.

To: Cha-Crazy (cuz that's what your last name sounds like)

2008-07-28T18:47:00.003-04:00

Your presentation was three times as long as it was supposed to be and boring as fuck. I can't believe you stood in front of the class and spewed a bunch of bullshit for as long as you did and still managed to get a better mark than me. Fuck you.

To: N

2008-07-28T18:43:00.002-04:00

When we got back to my place after my birthday gathering, it started to become clear to me that you may be interested in more that I'm willing to give you at this point. I'm fine with things the way they are but now I feel like I shouldn't see you at all. Dammit! You're not supposed to like me.

To: N

2008-07-17T23:19:00.002-04:00

It's my birthday tomorrow (Friday) and I'm not sure if I should have or not but I've mentioned it to you and it looks like you may be attending.

Truthfully I'd prefer you just arrived towards the end so we could have another drink and then go back to my place and fuck. Still, that's all I really want you for. I don't really want you there all night. I'm not babysitting you, so think wisely about when you arrive. It'll be better for both of us.

To: M

2008-07-05T00:37:00.003-04:00

I've been waiting to do that since the night we bumped into each other in a neighbouring city three months ago. That was exactly what I needed after the week I've just had. While you're probably back at home with your other half, I'm off to bed now to sleep soundly. Thanks for that.

To: N

2008-07-01T18:17:00.003-04:00

Last night I was dancing away at the club with friends having a great time and then I looked over and thought I was hallucinating! You walked right over to me ... the last person I ever expected to see there.

We kissed.

Me: Hi
You: Hi
Me: What are you doing here?
You: This is my old stomping ground. Why? Am I interrupting something?
Me: No. No not at all. I'm just so surprised to see you.

You left to get a drink or something after dancing briefly. I expected you to come back but you didn't. I didn't see you for the rest of the night. You disappeared just as quickly as you appeared. I'm glad that you did though. I'd prefer to keep what we have separate from everything else I have.

To: Engaged Classmate

2008-05-25T23:14:00.002-04:00

Ok, I get that you're getting married next year and all but I totally caught you checking me out during break last class.

I get the feeling you'd totally do it if given the chance. I would too actually but it's never going to happen.

To: Immediate Co-Worker

2008-05-21T20:08:00.002-04:00

You were sick again today.

I don't know if I'm just dead inside or I just don't care but I have to be honest, when you start talking about whatever ailment you may have, I just don't want to hear it. It sucks.... it totally sucks. I get it. I fucking get it. I'm not good at sympathizing with you I guess.

You totallly pissed me off by calling in sick yesterday. I never call in sick and decided to just because. As soon as I called in to change my voicemail, there was your message.

"I won't be in the office today because" blah blah fucking blah.

Typical.

Hope you're enjoying your 5 day weekend!!

To: D

2008-05-11T09:11:00.002-04:00

I must have been engrossed in conversation with my friend when you sat down at the table of our mutual friends on the patio yesterday afternoon. I didn't see you at all as I walked right past you on my way out.

When you called my name, however, and I noticed it was you I probably could not have been happier. You still look as sexy as I remember. I couldn't stop thinking about you for the rest of the day.

To: Eastern European Classmate

2008-05-06T21:56:00.002-04:00

I think its your accent and not really your intention but sweetie you talk really loudly and it always seems like you're angry. I know you're just answering the teacher's question but its almost like you're totally pissed off when doing so. Maybe just bring it down a few notches. I think I jumped in my seat at one point.

Oh and the make-up ... well the red lipstick in particular ... makes you look a bit like a hooker.

To: Immediate Co-Worker

2008-05-06T21:53:00.003-04:00

I'm glad you called in sick today. I know you have issues 'n all but I just don't want to hear about them. Like I mean, I'm sure it sucks 'n all but what can I do about it? If something isn't working - fix it, don't complain about it.

To: É

2008-05-04T18:41:00.003-04:00

You do know that the reason I gave you for leaving your place early last weekend was a lie, don't you? I mean it must be pretty obvious that I was completely disappointed with you and with how the weekend played out, no?

It's fine that you are messaging me online right now but I just want to be sure you know how I feel about you. Also, you're really pushing it asking me to send you more music. Don't hold your breath, I won't be sending you any for long time ... if not, ever. Likewise, I'm not sure if you asking me about "N" is really appropriate. Yes we've been seeing each other and yes we're having sex. Good sex. You know, something you and I will never have. Ever. Satisfied?

To: N

2008-04-30T18:46:00.003-04:00

Thanks for brunch on Sunday. After the weekend ... err well the 36 hours I had out-of-town, it was nice to chill and hang out.

Obviously when you asked why it sucked, I didn't tell you the truth. If I had, I know you would have had an issue with it. You shouldn't though. We're aren't officially anything.

We probably won't ever be.

To: É

2008-04-26T23:44:00.005-04:00

Thanks for wasting my time this weekend you fucking douche bag. It was like almost as soon as I arrived, I was ready to come home.

Here’s why you suck balls a-hole:

After arriving at your place Thursday evening and finishing off a drink or two, the clothes started to come off – as they do – and I don’t know, call me crazy but I expected to get laid. As we started to, suddenly you think we’re going to fast. Too fast?!! Are you fucking kidding me?! Not only did that confuse the fuck out of me, I started to think I was that bad kid in school that started drinking, smoking and having sex before everyone else. You know the one, the 16-years-old-and-pregnant-girl, or the spent-time-in-jail dude. So yeah thanks for that fuck face.

We established pretty quickly that there isn’t a romantic connection between us. I was never looking for anything from you anyway so I can’t say I was really that disappointed but the least you could have done was finish what you started.

I didn’t really want to go to the cabane à sucre the next day for breakfast to be perfectly honest. I do my best to avoid fatty foods at all cost and this was essentially like drinking bacon grease cocktails with a side of lard. Oh let’s not forget the deserts! Thanks for asking the waitress to bring the additional desert they don’t normally serve. You know, that small bowl of maple syrup with small pieces of egg (that smelled bad) floating in it. You like this shit? Seriously I felt my waistline expanding and my teeth rotting after one putrid spoonful. I’m not sorry for not finishing it; it was revolting.

On the way back, I knew I couldn’t bare another sober minute of this and suggested we head to the nearest patio we could find for drinks. You ordered a pint of beer; I ordered myself a pitcher of sangria. I needed that drink more than you will ever know. If it was me that brought up the topic of clothing or accessories than I regret it big time. You're on a completely different planet than I am on that one. Apparently I'm “crazy” because my sunglasses cost the same as your rent. Got some news for you douchebag– I’ll spend my money on any damn thing I chose to, I earned it myself and they look fucking fantastic on me. Oh and if that's your rent, then what the fuck are you complaining about?!! Pleasantly buzzing it was time for me to shop, something I know you don’t enjoy and clearly don’t do often. Thanks for reminding me about your impatience for it and your ability to only hit one or two stores because, you know, as your guest, that was a real classy thing to say.

Another one of your best lines came when we were back at your place when we were changing for the evening. Scrolling through your possible online hook-ups (I'm not making this shit up! Seriously!) you commented, "I'm just not into blondes". Hilarious. Can you even see me?!

I didn’t mind at all that you wanted to stop by your friend’s house early that evening to give him a birthday gift and have a drink with him – I actually thought that was totally decent of you. What I did think was odd was that you failed to tell me we were actually going to a birthday party until we were in the car on the way there. Most of the time I was there, I was dying to leave. Oh by the way, one of your friends, who was with his “girlfriend” (I’m using that term loosely) drunkenly told me how attractive he thinks you are and how lucky I am to have you. I didn’t have the heart to tell him he’s a stupid fuck and to never say those words again.

When we finally arrived at the bar I couldn’t see any way that I was going to be able to pretend to have fun so after having a beer I lied to you about not feeling well so I could take your keys, leave and put an end to this mess.

When I woke up the next morning and you hadn’t been home I assumed you had met someone and went home with them. Good for you I thought, I would have done the same thing. When I didn’t hear from you after a while, my mind started to wonder a little bit. Perhaps you had foolishly drove home after the bar closed and you had been killed in a drunk driving accident. As tragic as that would have been, I couldn’t help but wonder what I’d do with your house key when I left. Somehow that was more important to me. Do I lock up? Would it matter? Either way, I figured we wouldn’t be going for our planned morning run so I showered, dressed, made a pot of coffee and ate some breakfast.

Much later when you finally sent me a text message I was somewhat relieved you hadn’t died but astounded that you decided to have breakfast with your friend and wouldn’t be back until noon. Noon?! I’d been up since 7:30 and since I had your house key I essentially couldn’t leave you place in case you came home while I was gone! Not that there’s anything to do in your neighbourhood, I’m just sayin’s all. I was in Hell. Apparently Hell is a poorly furnished apartment in the middle of fuck nowhere where ironically no one is fucking. Yeah it’s only funny, because it’s true. I spent the better part of the morning pacing up and down the hallway of your narrow apartment like a fucking rat in a cage (love you Billy Corgan).

I decided then that I was going to pack my suitcase back up and go home. The fee to exchange my train ticket for one departing this afternoon outweighed anything we could possibly do together in enjoyment and I hastily called my friends to discuss how I’d lie to you about why I suddenly had to leave. I really didn’t want to be a prick about the situation I just wanted to go home; I didn’t want you to be offended.

You were surprised but took it well. *huge sigh of relief on my part*

The decision was made – we’d grab some sushi quickly and then you’d drop me off at the train station. I’m still sort of shocked at how you didn’t even reach for you wallet (even if you did or did not end up paying) when the bill was presented and how when I did (because that’s what you do if you have a basic understanding of good manners) you proceeded to ask me if it was my treat (in the tone of a question). Umm yeah, well it looks like I have no choice you cheap, classless fuck. The tension that followed the moment after I said that was your own fault. I don't think I could have liked you less at that moment.

After you dropped me off at the train station, I changed my ticket, left my luggage with the baggage personnel and went shopping. I bought the sexiest underwear I could find and made plans to get together with “N” tomorrow.

Can't

Fucking

Wait.

To: É

2008-04-08T18:18:00.000-04:00

J'ai acheté mon billet de train aujourd'hui.
Je vous verrai encore bientôt.
Bisou.

To: N

2008-04-06T23:51:00.003-04:00

Thanks for making me a really nice dinner this evening. I really enjoyed everything.

Oh and by the way, I am sleeping with other people so when it appeared like I was making a joke about it, I actually wasn't. You didn't seem to like the idea that I might be but given our history, that surprises me.

I hope you don't want this to become something more than it is. Let's just leave things the way they are.

To: Hoteler

2008-03-29T18:21:00.002-04:00

People who work for the company who don't have an assigned office or desk and who "sign in" when at the office are called hotelers. You're a hoteler.

Until yesterday we had never spoken a word to each other. You sort of have this lazy look about you, I can't quite put my finger on it, but I had decided I didn't like you. In fact, I think I once blogged about you and gave you a name with "Lazy" in it. I notice lately you've been signing into a desk near me and my co-workers and I just assume it's because we often have food left over from meetings that we put out for everyone and I know how much you enjoyed that one day. Seriously, the amount of times you came back for more I almost suggested you just take the whole damn thing with you! I also sometimes think you're a lesbian and you like my co-worker. There wouldn't be anything wrong with that of course, I'm just sayin's all. (-;

So you spoke to me the other day ... you even used my name like you know me or something. That's kinda weird if you ask me. I don't know you're name and it's not like you even thought to introduce yourself; you just asked me for help with something.

I'm glad I knew the answer. I didn't really want to spend any length of time talking to you.

To: É

2008-03-25T23:31:00.004-04:00

Merci beaucoup.

To: Boss

2008-03-25T23:18:00.002-04:00

Assume is pronounced "ass-oom", not "ash-oom".

You know, just so you know.

To: É

2008-03-18T19:19:00.002-04:00

I accepted your invitation to spend the long weekend with you and purchased my train ticket today. I'm really looking forward to it too.

Je pratiquerai mon français.

To: N

2008-03-13T20:59:00.003-04:00

You totally broke the fuck buddy rules tonight.

Normally we just have sex ... that's what we do. Tonight we went out for drinks (WTF?!) ... although I figured sex would follow.

I was wrong.

Your reason why was the real shocker.

You wanted to set a precedent by not having sex and thereby take what we have to a higher level (your words, not mine).

Ummm ok. To say I was speechless is a real understatement. Even as I type this I can't believe those are the words that came out of your mouth.

I don't know "N", I really don't.

We'll see what happens...

To: É

2008-03-13T20:55:00.002-04:00

I'm really surprised ... pleasantly ... at how things have developed and I'm looking forward to the plans we've made. I'm glad we met while on holiday.

To: Front Row Classmate

2008-03-11T23:26:00.002-04:00

Honestly, if you fucking brown-nose one more time I'm going to throw my textbook at your face.

I arrive to class a little early yesterday and there you are chatting with the teacher throwing out all these buzzwords from the textbook that no normal human would use in any sentence ever. Can you hear yourself? You are a total joke.

Your face is so far up the teacher's ass, you're practically wearing her as a hat and scarf!

To: Negative Nancy

2008-03-11T23:24:00.001-04:00

Every word out of your fucking mouth is something negative. Seriously bitch, cheer the fuck up! If you don't want to be in class, just fucking leave!! I'm sick of hearing you sigh or make smart ass remarks under your breath as the teacher is trying to teach a class. You paid to be here! You should have saved your fucking money and bought a new attitude with it.

To: É

2008-03-05T18:40:00.003-05:00

While on holiday, you wanted to set me up with your friend who I was not interested in.

Since returning from holiday, I have really enjoyed getting to know you better and look forward to the plans we've tentatively made.

To: N

2008-02-27T20:36:00.000-05:00

I lied when I said I deleted the sex tape we made last night.

To: N

2008-02-24T21:22:00.003-05:00

OK so we're getting together again at some point this week ... and I'm actually looking forward to it. Having been on holiday, I haven't seen you in a while.

Your suggestion that we spend the night, however, is breaking the fuck buddy rules isn't it?

To: Disappointment

2008-02-20T21:10:00.002-05:00

I'll just say this. You have changed quite a bit ... and I'm sorry to say it is not for the better. The new you does not impress me at all. In fact, not having you around the other day made a lot of people quite happy.

To: T ('08)

2008-02-05T19:35:00.000-05:00

Thank you for having us over to your place last night for such a fun party. Being in Mexico again is amazing. Three days in and I don't want to go home.

It was also a bit of a deja-vu for me. See ... what you don't know is that last year at this time I slept with a friend of your group in the same place you're staying. If you're staying in one of the back bedrooms that would just to too weird.

I am, however, intent on finding out.

To: Classmate

2008-01-21T22:31:00.000-05:00

"Do you know what scurried across the floor at my feet this morning while I was in the bathroom?" I overheard you ask on the phone this evening during our break.

"I put a box down there that's probably too heavy for it to move so I think I trapped it," you went on.

Umm ... oh geez where do I begin?

Ok, so not knowing you well or your situation, I can only assume that there is a rodent of some type in your home. I'm concerned that you were so calm about it and that you think trapping it in a box is sufficient. I don't know, call me old fashioned, but perhaps you might want to try to remove it from your home.

Also, where the fuck do you live? Under a bridge?

To: Front Row Classmate

2008-01-21T22:25:00.000-05:00

Ok we get it. You read the textbook.

You think you could shut your fucking mouth for one second so the rest of the class could answer a question or two?

I already can't stand you and the semester has just begun.

To: N

2008-01-12T01:42:00.000-05:00

I had actually intended on spending the night finishing up on some work after a busy day at the office Thursday evening when your text came through.

"Wanna come over?"

We had been in contact during the week and had made plans to get together this weekend anyway so I figured what the hell, I have a pulse.

I'd say "Coming Clean" was sort of the theme of evening.

When I spotted mail in your apartment with the name of the other person I know you were seeing when we split a few months back, you came clean when questioned and explained. The good thing is I frankly don't give a shit. I don't want to have a relationship with you. I'm basically just using you for sex. So, while I think you were being honest and I hope you were, it also doesn't really matter that much to me because you're just a fuck buddy to me and I'd be pretty shocked if you were ever anything more than that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a complete asshole - I do like you, I'm just saying I think we're on the same page with things.

I also came clean about something. Based on things you would say, I knew you didn't know how old I was. Naturally I made you guess and as I suspected, you thought I was 6 years younger than I am. To say you were shocked when I told you my age would be an understatment ... but thanks, that felt great. ;)

To: Fat Girl

2008-01-07T19:36:00.000-05:00

Look. It's painfully obvious that you're not happy with this situation but suck it up bitch and deal with it. You used to work for "#5", then after a little shifting of things you were off the hook and he was my responsibility. Well the time has come where he's all yours again.

I have tried three times now to schedule a meeting with you to discuss the hand-over and status of his files and each time, you have conveniently been busy.

We are having this meeting tomorrow. I don't care if you have other "priorities". THIS is your priority.

To: UK

2008-01-01T16:28:00.000-05:00

Thank you for a brilliant weekend.

I was really happy that you came to the New Year's Eve party I was at last night. Having not purchased a ticket in advance like my friends and I and thus having to pay entrance at the door, you spent a lot of money for a few hours of dancing with me. I'm truly very greatful.

It kills me that you're on a flight back to London this evening.

To: UK

2007-12-30T20:32:00.000-05:00

You're not British but I'm calling you UK because for the last 14 years you've been working for the fashion industry in London doing PR. You're from here originally.

When I was dancing last night, I noticed you out of the corner of my eye and thought you were really hot. I really liked the way you came over to me just to compliment my dancing and introduce yourself. We spent the rest of the evening dancing, talking, kissing. I don't impress easily and was pleasantly surprised at how you weren't trying too hard like most do. I felt we really clicked.

I've actually been thinking about you quite a bit since.

I'm not sure if we'll have time to see each other again before you fly home on January 1 but I hope we do.

I think I want you even more because I know I can't have you.

To: All

2007-12-25T13:12:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas, bitches!

To: N

2007-12-17T12:23:00.000-05:00

Getting together again on Friday was fun. You still look good - I like the haircut.

You brought a film that you had worked on ... and made a brief cameo in. I wasn't really interested. It was off about 5 minutes after it started and so were my pants. Much like before we "watched" a bit more of it before doing it again.

When I offered to let you spend the night, I didn't really mean it and so when you said you couldn't because you had plans in the morning, I was thrilled. I didn't want you to stay.

"Oh I ran into your friend the other night ... tells me you're seeing someone. How's that going for you?" I said, as your were putting on your shoes in hopes of shocking you a little and perhaps making you feel guilty (although, the more I think of it, the less I think you'd feel guilt).

"Oh I was," you replied, "for a week but that didn't work out. I wasn't happy."

"So is this the part where I don't hear from you again for two months?" I asked as we said goodbye.

"We'll see," you laughed, "but probably not"

I laughed as well because I don't care. I'm not interested in you, I'm just in it for the sex.

You text messaged me several times the next day but before it went anywhere, I told you I had plans. Perhaps another time...

To: N

2007-12-14T20:14:00.000-05:00

Last night I ran into a good friend of yours who casually mentioned in conversation that you're in a new relationship. Really? I hope for your sake they don't find out you booty called me the previous night. No scratch that ... I actually don't give a fuck.

I stick to what I said before - I'm too good for you. That's why I won't feel anything after you leave my place tomorrow morning. You're probably on your way over right now...

To: Colleague

2007-12-13T17:54:00.000-05:00

I just about died laughing this afternoon when you arrived at the table for lunch. Our mutual colleague lifted her glass to you as a toast; clearly you misunderstood this as you immediately took the glass from her, took a sip and said, "thanks, I'm dying for a drink".

Not to cause you any further embarassment, she let you keep her drink and ordered another.

Priceless.

To: N

2007-12-13T07:42:00.000-05:00

For previous references, see:
http://justsayinsall.blogspot.com/2007/10/to-n_22.html
http://justsayinsall.blogspot.com/2007/10/to-n_19.html
http://justsayinsall.blogspot.com/2007/10/to-n_14.html
http://justsayinsall.blogspot.com/2007/10/to-n.html

As I awoke this morning and checked my text messages, one from you was the last thing I was expecting. It appears you sent me a text this morning at 12:40am asking how I am.

Perhaps against my better judgement, I replied...

To: A

2007-12-13T07:23:00.000-05:00

(Previously known as: "Saturday Night")

Glad we got together last night. You're cute.

To: Stall Reader

2007-12-12T18:25:00.000-05:00

I'll never understand people like you. As I walk into the washroom, there you are in the stall ... reading. Reading!? Read somewhere else!! If you're sitting on the fucking crapper reading, then you don't need to crap - end of story! Like what the fuck are you waiting for? Are you hoping that if you flip through a magazine and look at some pictures for a while then suddently you might need to go? Do that at your fucking desk you freakshow!

To: Weekend Pick-Ups

2007-12-09T11:23:00.000-05:00

To: Friday Night -
I hate when someone asks for your number and then doesn't call. I'm about to do that to you. Sorry. It was dark in that club and I really couldn't tell if you were cute or not but my instinct tells me I'd be disappointed if I saw you in daylight.

That actually almost happened last night! As I made my way from a house party to another friend's party at a local bar, I walked right by you and your two friends who I recognized from last night. I think I strategically turned my head to the side slightly just in the nick-of-time as I believe I successfully walked past you undetected. That was a close one.

To: Saturday Night -
When you and your friend started dancing a little closer to me and mine, I knew this was a done deal before it even started. I was ready to leave so I introduced myself, chatted briefly, took your number and told you'd I'd call you soon. I think I probably will too.

To: T

2007-12-05T22:14:00.001-05:00

You know what your problem is? You are so desperate to be in a relationship with someone that as soon as someone shows the slightest bit of interest you practically want to marry them!

I just struck up conversation with you to see how you were doing and to let you know I was going to be travelling soon to the place we meet last winter. Next thing I know, you're telling me you had a dream about me the previous night and that you want to come visit me!

You're really nice and totally decent ... essentially you're harmless; and please do come visit me, I don't mind but just know that if you do, we'll have sex but that's all it will be to me. You deserve more than that.

To: Travel Friends

2007-12-01T15:59:00.000-05:00

It's official ... my winter holidays are booked! Two weeks at the beach this February!

Let's get slutty!

To: Absent Minded Woman

2007-12-01T15:53:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry, I forgot I was invisible today. I mean that's clearly the only reason why you walked right into me on the sidewalk and came thisclose to spilling my latte!

To: Fat Girl

2007-11-28T23:21:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I met with our HR boss about me transitioning "#5" over to you. I was met with:

HR: [Your name here] is not happy about this.
ME: I can completely understand that.
HR: To ease the transition that was supposed to be today, she has asked that it take effect in January and that you continue to work with [#5] until then. I know you are extremely busy so I said I would talk to you about to see how you feel about this.
ME: [I wanted to rip your fat fucking face off your skull at this point] Well, I am really busy but I imagine things should slow down somewhat around the holidays so it's ok [What was I going to say? No? Bitch.] I mean, I have waiting this long, what's one more month?
HR: Well that's a good attitude, thanks very much for understanding.

You are a fucking douche. I did you a fucking favour by taking him off your plate for as long as I did. I'm so sorry you aren't pleased about this but I don't fucking give a shit you pathetic cry baby. Grow up and deal with it.

When I ran into you at the elevator this afternoon I did the polite thing and held it open for you as you were just coming out of the office. I should have let it close while giving you the finger.

To: Party Guest

2007-11-25T17:28:00.000-05:00

You looked really pretty this afternoon when you started to speak and all that came out was an inaudible sound and the spray of cracker crumbs. Really pretty. Perhaps next time you shouldn't shove so much food in your mouth ... oh or better yet, perhaps you should swallow your food before you speak to someone.

To: Classmates

2007-11-22T21:22:00.000-05:00

Tonight was our last night of class and assuming we all take the next course in this series, we won't meet again until May. A few of you, I wouldn't mind seeing again but for two of you - a few parting words from moi:

To: Uptighty Pants
I thought this was a cute little creative name to give you - a) because I decided you were an uptight bitch when you told the class you thought the ad I designed was offensive; and b) because you come to class dressed in tight black stretch pants - something a woman with your figure ought not to do. You know pulling a comb through you hair every so often wouldn't be the wrong answer.

To: Stupid Girl
You're so stupid, I had to write about you once before (http://justsayinsall.blogspot.com/2007/10/to-stupid-classmate.html). Your 25 minute presentation in class this evening exceeded the 3-5 minutes we were instructed to present in immeasurable ways. I will try, however, to explain in some fashion the mess that was you this evening. You started off well - loved how you had us laughing about how you left it all to the last minute, had no idea what to speak about and decided your topic would be "nothing". However, I was not expecting you to ask two classmates to simulateneously blow bubbles that you provided so that you could have a Lawrence Welk moment while presenting. It happened though - you presented while bubbles were being blown around you. From there, if I recall, you then spend a good solid 10 minutes drawing calligraphy on the board while explaining one ancient symbol as representing fullness but that because it has it all it is inherently "nothing". WTF? The best part was your big finished. "I'd just like to finish by reading a poem" you said, and I apologize if my sudden burst of laughter distracted you. I couldn't hold it in any longer - I thought maybe I was high and you were some type of hippy fairy or something. Thank you . Thank you so much for that; that was really special.

To: Fat Girl

2007-11-22T20:58:00.000-05:00

Sorry, I just don't know any other way to put it. I mean ok, sure maybe "large" or "big boned" might sound nicer but when have I really chosen to go the nice route? Read the archives, you'll see what I mean. Its really no big deal, I really don't give a shit what size you are, I'm just giving you a name for my blog - that's all.

Anyway, I'm currently working for someone you used to work for. I've referred to him in the past. See:
http://justsayinsall.blogspot.com/2007/05/to-5.html
http://justsayinsall.blogspot.com/2007/06/5.html
http://justsayinsall.blogspot.com/2007/06/to-5.html

I learned yesterday that I'm off the hook and next week he's all yours. I heard you were not pleased about this. Naturally I've been avoiding you at all costs - a) because I don't want to appear too happy about it and thus seem like a dick; and b) because I generally don't like you a whole lot, you talk so loudly and sound so fake when doing so that I'm embarassed to have a conversation with you, and I'm also afraid you might eat me.

Today we bumped into each other.

We didn't talk about it all. Instead in response to me telling you that tonight was the last night of my evening course I'm currently taking, you told me about how much you had wanted to do a course on the side but discovered just as recently as this week that your brain chemicals are not balanced.

How does one respond to that?

To: Friend-of-a-Friend

2007-11-18T12:56:00.000-05:00

(For previous reference see: http://justsayinsall.blogspot.com/2007/06/to-friend-of-friend.html)

I usually don't like anyone to talk to me while I dance. I'm there for the music - period. Last night I felt like you wouldn't leave me alone! I'm fine being civil and whatnot but I didn't call you back or make any sort of attempt to get in touch with you after our night together a few months back. I'm not interested. I just re-read what I wrote back then and it brought back bad memories of you sucking my face off. Gross.

To: D

2007-10-28T13:41:00.001-04:00

You're back! (For previous reference see: http://justsayinsall.blogspot.com/2007/01/to-d.html)

Well truth be told, we did see each other at two functions last month but the tone of said functions were not of a jovial, social nature and to the second of which, you brought your spouse, so yeah .... much different.

I was pleasantly surprised to see you last night. While dancing, a mutual friend introduced me to your friend and was about to introduce you and I when we realized that was not necessary. We immediately kissed, embraced and like all other times were glued to each other's side for the rest of the night.

I have no idea what it is about you ... but I'm so fucking in love with you!

To: Stupid Classmate

2007-10-25T22:14:00.000-04:00

I honestly can not believe how stupid you really are. The shit that comes out of your mouth is rediculous! You're wasting my time and you're wasting our teacher's time. Your inability to grasp the simplest of concepts is beyond me. I don't even know what to say.

To: Slow Walker

2007-10-23T17:56:00.001-04:00

You know I practically ran right into you because rather than open the door in front of you, you opted to press the handicap automatic door open button and stood there waiting as it slowly opened. You're a fucking lazy shit-for-brains douche bag. You seriously held up several people walking behind you because you couldn't open a fucking door! You're not handicapped! Don't be so fucking lazy!

To: N

2007-10-22T20:30:00.000-04:00

I was surprised to hear from you on Saturday. You were surprised to hear that. You'd been having a bad week and prefer to isolate yourself from others when that happens.

That's odd. I couldn't help but notice your Facebook status indicating that you were enjoying your birthday week. You even changed you MSN message while I was chatting with you to indicate your birthday celebrations were going "full tilt".

I didn't engage you in much conversation as I had plans with the ex and wished you a good day and signed off. Curiousity got the better of me this morning and I happened upon your Facebook page again. Didn't take much for me to determine that someone else was in town to celebrate your birthday with you.

No hard feelings. Seriously. The sex was great. Maybe another time. But I'm far too good for you.

To: Ex

2007-10-21T17:18:00.001-04:00

It was really nice to see you this weekend. I had fun.

I wasn't expecting the sexual advance last night while in bed though. I know you wanted to do it. Sorry hon, you can't have your cake and eat it too. You have someone waiting for you back home now; are you going to tell them about how much you wanted me this weekend?

To: N

2007-10-19T18:40:00.000-04:00

I've lost interest in you.

You really made it clear you were interested in me and hoped everything you were telling me would not scare me off. I originally didn't think we'd last past day ....er night 1, but was open to giving it a shot. Now, I haven't heard from you since Monday.

I'm not insecure and I don't require constant attention but your complete unresponsiveness following the week we had last amounts to lying.

Don't bother calling me this weekend. My ex is moments from boarding a plane headed for my place. I'll be busy.

And .... I'm over you.

To: N

2007-10-14T20:17:00.000-04:00

I was not expecting our date Friday night date to end at 1:00pm this afternoon (Sunday). I think I get the message - you like me.

To: Giant

2007-10-12T19:37:00.000-04:00

I originally called you "Bad Dye Job" a while back because your hair was suspiciously jet black. I call you "Giant" now just because you're abnormally big. Perhaps I need to watch your hair more closely though. Today it had an odd redish-brown hue to it. You're not fooling anyone sweetie but go back to the original colour. This one is just weird.

To: N

2007-10-11T00:37:00.000-04:00

It's a good thing I decided to clean out my inbox of old messages. I had totally forgotten about you. You had sent me a message back in June that I just replied to this weekend - sorry about that. REALLY sorry actually.

We'd actually never met in person before so when we did just the other day, I was pleasantly surprised. Ok let's just get to the good stuff. Yadda yadda yadda, we're doing it. When I reached into your pants, I swear I thought that thing was going to come flying at me and bruise my face! It probably weighs as much as I do! It's really quite impressive.

I've just got home now from our second "date". I use that term loosely considering I left your place with my underwear in my bag and my low rise jeans riding dangerously close to the pube exposure level. I'm pretty sure we'll be getting together again. I don't know, however, what if anything will become of this but you know what? For now, I really don't care.

To: Explosive Colleague

2007-09-19T18:19:00.000-04:00

The fact that you blew your nose while in the stall did nothing to disguise the fact that it sounded like your ass just exploded in there. How embarassing for you.

To: Stupid & Impatient

2007-09-13T22:33:00.000-04:00

I was in front of you in line and ordered my sandwich before you. That makes your question to the sandwich maker as we were both waiting there ("Is that the egg salad sandwich? Is that my sandwich?") totally stupid.

I'm standing right there in front you waiting for mine! What the fuck makes you think they were going to make yours before mine? It wasn't even an egg salad sandwich and if it was ... it would have been mine!!

You stupid impatient fuck. Seriously! You even sighed and looked at your co-worker or friend or whatever with disdain. Fuck you. Be patient and waiting your fucking turn and stop acting like things should be ready when you snap your fingers.

To: M

2007-09-13T17:36:00.000-04:00

I feel totally cheated ... we were robbed.

You should be here now.

You'll be missed but not forgotten.

To: Back-Up #2

2007-09-04T18:19:00.000-04:00

I feel like anytime I see you, you're eyes are not completely open. Like you're some kind of stoner or something.

To: Polka Dot

2007-08-22T18:44:00.000-04:00

OMG ... seriously. I'm walking down the street on my lunch and then I spot you.

Black and white polka dot a dress, which on it's own I suppose I could handle; but with matching black and white polka dot shoes honey I don't know. You looked like a fucking dalmation!

It's a shame really. You probably looked in the mirror this morning and thought you looking quite cute.

To: Market Researcher

2007-08-17T17:49:00.000-04:00

Just listen for fuck's sake!! It would save both of us time.

Phone Rings
ME: Hello
YOU: Hi it's Danielle calling from [I have no idea], about a paid market research study on the weekend of September 7.
ME: I'm out of town on September 8 so I'm probably not available unless it is being held on September 7 as well.
YOU: Well I just need to go through the questionnaire with you first to see if you qualify.

What the fuck Danielle?! If I'm not even in town, then I don't qualify. Idiot.

To: Vegi-Hater

2007-08-16T18:09:00.001-04:00

I'm sorry I couldn't help but overhear you while waiting in line today for a turkey wrap telling your friend, "yeah I try to stay away from the all the vegetable things".

Oh sweetie, by the looks of it, you probably think butter is a vegetable.

Vegetables are good for you.

To: J

2007-08-10T22:34:00.000-04:00

It's interesting - you and I "met" this weekend two years to the day in the same city and in the same club that I met my ex in. My ex was in town as well but at a different event that night. Thankfully.

I say we "met" because I'd call this more of an official meeting; although we have met before and when I proved it you, you were not only shocked but very apologhetic (not necessary, by the way).

You approached me.

YOU: I see you everywhere! How's it going? What's your name?
ME: I'm well but we have met before.
YOU: No!
ME: Yes, we have. When we met at [club name here], we danced together and you french kissed me and gave me your number. I sent you a text the next day as I was heading out of town for the rest of the weekend but never heard from you.
YOU: No! I don't think so. Are you serious? I wouldn't have done that.
ME: I'll prove it you. Give me your number again [I've since purchased a new phone and didn't bother to copy it over], I'll call you now and I bet you've got my number in your phone.

You know how this plays out. I called you and there was my name and number on your screen.

See you on Wednesday for our sushi date!

To: Phone Caller

2007-08-10T22:28:00.000-04:00

After returning from my weekend get-a-way, all I wanted to do was survive the short 3-day work week. It was a struggle but I managed. Your call this afternoon made me laugh. You had called me earlier hoping to speak to my boss who was not in. I called you back when I found a suitable time for you to talk to him.

ME: Hi, its [my name here]. [Boss's name here] will give you a call at 6:00, does that work for you?
YOU: Yeah, that's fine. Do you have my number?
ME: [Do I have your number?! We ARE talking on the phone aren't we? I did just call you, didn't I?! Idiot.] Yes, is the number I just called good?

To: M

2007-07-31T18:25:00.000-04:00

When I met you at a party earlier this year you insisted that we had met before. I thought perhaps you were right but really had no recollection. I was informed by my friend later that evening that I had indeed met you the previous weekend and made out with you in full view of everyone at the club we were at. Yes, that's right, I'm a class act.

You were at the same party as I this past weekend. This time the shoe was in the other food and you kissed me. Your memory of this is a little fuzzy; this I've learned through messages we've exchanged. Hilarious. I think we're on the same page though as to where this may be going.

The whole crew is transplanting themselves to a neighbouring city for the long weekend.

You're going to be there.
E is going to be there.
My ex is going to be there.
A recent lunch date (yeah that's right I've been tight lipped about that one so don't ask) will be there.

Oh dear ... someone's going to be popular this weekend. ;)

To: Lazy Lady in the Lift

2007-07-30T21:07:00.000-04:00

I fucking can't believe you you fucking lazy bitch!

On the 3rd of my building is the recreation centre - gym, pool, sundeck - which is the floor you got on at. Clearly you had been working out, you're in good shape, you're wearing workout gear - you get the idea. I just about kicked you back out the fucking door as it was closing as I watched your finger pressed "4".

Are you kidding me? Are you seriously fucking kidding me? You can run on a treadmill, use the eleptical and God knows what else yet you can't walk a flight of stairs?! One flight of stairs?!

To: Woman-in-Finance

2007-07-26T22:16:00.000-04:00

What the hell was that thing on your head today?!

I mean we're at the fucking company social fun day and you show up looking like a woman at the Kentucky freaking Derby wearing an over-sized hat with some ribbon crap wrapped around it!

Seriously?! Did you even look at yourself before you left the office? It was hiliarous ... seriously I could not believe what I was seeing. You reminded me of Miss Culture-is-my-Middle-Name from my previous job for a brief moment because only she would be as stupid as you to wear such an inappropriate accessory and think she looked good.

To: E

2007-07-25T21:09:00.000-04:00

That was fucking delicious.

When you called I had just stepped out of the shower, I was naked, and I just started to cook dinner. (Aside: "cooking" dinner is a new thing for me. Its totally different than eating in a restaurant or ordering food. I'm getting used to it, because I want to be better at it, but it's still very new)

YOU: I have to go to this thing tonight but I'm starving, do you want to grab a bite quickly?
ME: Oh yeah totally, I was just thinking about eating.

I immediately wrapped up what was on the stove, threw on a pair of jeans and headed out like none of the previous 20 minutes of my life even happened. You were on time and exactly where I told you to meet me. Your lips tasted so fucking good.

Just like the last time you are staying at a friend's place while he is out of town - someone I am friends with as well. To be honest I just expected to have dinner tonight and for us to hang out more tomorrow since you have plans this evening but when you suggested I come back with you to hang out while you got ready, I was more than happy to oblige. Again, like the last time I had not been to this particular friend's place before ... this is becoming a trend with you.

You're so fun to have sex with. I love how you just slammed me against the wall the minute the door closed behind me and ripped off my clothes. You're so fucking hot.

When we were done our other mutual friend was waiting downstairs to take you to the event you're at now (incidently, this is the friend who's place we did it at last time while he was out of town, and someone who sends me messages often wanting to hang out). Needless to say, we agreed that you'd leave the building first, get in his car, and I'd slip out undetected afterwards. It's better for both of us that way.

You dirty little skank. If they only knew.

I learned tonight that we're going to be in the same city in two weeks at the same party. This is going to be interesting. You're going to be with friends who know your other half ... and my ex (who lives in your city) will be there with me.

To: E

2007-07-24T18:57:00.000-04:00

When I read your email this morning about your plans to be in town late tonight until Friday, you made my day.

I can't wait to rip off our clothes and fuck.

To: Stalker

2007-07-22T22:51:00.000-04:00

You're a fucking stalker and I wish you'd leave me alone.

A while back when you sent me a message asking if I had a good time the night before, I was seriously thinking who the fuck is this? You insisted that I knew who you were and proceeded to describe places I go and what I look like. That's fucking creepy you whack job! I responded politely and apologized for not recognizing you.

I learned through a friend you're some sketchy sleezebag who frequents the same club I like to go dancing at. Even though I did not reply to any of your subsequent messages, you don't seem to get the hint.

I saw you yesterday when I was having lunch on a patio with a friend. You rode by on your bike but then circled back several times before parking your bike and sitting at the patio directly across the street from us. Coincidence? I doubt it.

Last night as I returned to the dance floor, you grabbed my arm and spoke to me:

YOU: Hey [my name here], did you have a good week?
ME: Ummm yeah. I did. [purposely confused look on my face] I'm sorry, do I know you? Have we met?
YOU: It's [your name here]
ME: [pause, confused look] Oh! I know who you are.

I turned around and walked away. Leave me alone you fucking freak of nature!

To: Subway Commuter

2007-07-19T22:33:00.000-04:00

I don't normally take the subway to work in the morning. I prefer to walk since I live downtown; this morning, however, it was raining so I had no choice. You must have been in a real hurry to get to work because, although the train was full when it arrived at the stop you proceeded to squeeze your fat ass on to, you still managed to somehow plow your way through those of us how were standing on the train by the door you entered through. I don't understand you impatient fucks ... the train is full, can't you wait a few minutes longer for the next one? I practically unintentionally sexually assulted you as you rubbed every part of your body against mine in order to get past me. Gross.

To: Secret Admirer

2007-07-14T20:56:00.001-04:00

Of all people, "C" knows who you are. In fact, you did the same thing to both of us.

Sleezy fuck.

To: Crush-No-Longer

2007-07-11T20:28:00.000-04:00

I had a crush on you since November of last year when we first met. When we started dating last month, no one was more surprised than me.

Sometimes though, the fantasy is better than the reality.

To: Secret Admirer

2007-07-10T23:16:00.000-04:00

I don't think you're really my type and your M.O. is a bit creepy.

The scene:
Me stepping out of a tanning bed as the time had just finished, naked. A text message from an unknown number is received on my phone.

YOUR TEXT: Mmm ;)

Ok considering I was standing there naked, I was a little concerned.

ME: [text back]: Who is this?
YOU: Just a fan ;)
ME: Do I know you?
YOU: Yes, but not well. I don't really know you either. Just think you're cute.
ME: Thanks. I'm sorry I don't know who you are. Do we have mutual friends or see each other out often?
YOU: Ha ha ... I'm being an idiot. Not your fault. We just see each other now and then ... You're often on your way home from work ... I'd guess

The messages continue but at this point I figured out it was you (tanning salon employee) which you later confirmed.

I suppose I should feel flattered but I why do I get this gross feeling that you were spying on me naked?

To: Friend-of-a-Friend

2007-06-17T11:29:00.000-04:00

Just for the record, when you approached me last night, kissed and hugged me and generally greeted me like we had known each other for ages ... I had no idea who you were. I had to ask my friend if we had ever met. I was told yes but truthfully you might as well have been a complete stranger.

It's a good thing that when you entered your number into my cell phone this morning before you left my place that you also put your name. I wouldn't have known it otherwise.

Oh and just for the record, when you kiss, I felt you were giving my face a tongue bath. A bit much ... you need to tone that down. I'm not going to call you.

To: #5

2007-06-15T18:15:00.000-04:00

Dude! When I walked into your office this afternoon it smelled you'd just taken a crap in there!

You're fucking gross.

To: Sighs-a-Lot

2007-06-13T18:56:00.000-04:00

Just when I go and say you're growing on me and you have to go and ruin the whole thing!

This morning before you changed into your proper footwear for the conference, I looked down and to my horror saw that you were wearing a pair of Crocs. You were wearing fucking Crocs!?! Like we just finished having a conversation about a gay friend of yours, you'd think that you'd know better than that! I'm sure he wouldn't take to kindly to those rubber disasters you're walking around in! Sweetie, girlfriend needs to bitchslap some sense into that head of yours.

To: Conference Attendee

2007-06-12T23:01:00.000-04:00

There's always one.

You were that one today.

YOU: [approaches me at the conference where my company has sponsored the business centre] OK, two things. Firstly, I need to know if Hank's presentation has been uploaded and is ready to go. Tammy needs to have it now.
ME: [who the fuck is Hank? who the fuck is Tammy? who the fuck are you for that matter?] I have no idea who any of those people are.
YOU: [said something to your co-worker and then left]
ME: [to your co-worker] She said there were two things - did you have a question?

To: Sighs-a-Lot

2007-06-12T22:55:00.000-04:00

We have spent more time together in the last two days due to this conference we're at than we have in the whole time I have been your co-worker.

While you're easily stressed, swear profusely and probably could benefit from valium, you are also sort of growing on me.

I think I've decided I like you now.

I'm still going to write about things you do though.

To: Sighs-a-Lot

2007-06-09T12:23:00.000-04:00

It just never fails with you!

Every time I have my personal email open on my computer typing an email to a friend, you always seem to walk by in full view of what I'm doing ... it's like you have this sixth sense or something.

I just want to turn around and tell you mind you own fucking business.

(You probably don't even give a shit what I'm doing).

#5

2007-06-05T22:17:00.000-04:00

You expect too much and my tolerance of you is wearing thin.

To: PV-E

2007-05-27T22:55:00.000-04:00

When we met while I was on holiday back in February I left with the impression that you didn't like me.

This weekend you and all the others we met down there are in town for a fun renunion weekend.

Having just come from your hotel room, I stand corrected.