I've actually worked in sales myself before and let me tell you, your sales tactics today need a lot of work!
Firstly, if you're inviting people (and by that I mean your target audience being busy professionals) to your lunch-and-learn session, stopping by my office at 11:00 the day-of is too late. My lunch plans have already been made.
Most importantly, however, don't wear your fucking sunglasses in my office.
Ok here's the thing with you ... In the past you used to call a lot and when I'd see your name on the call display, I'd cringe because I knew I would be stuck talking to you. All you do is talk-talk-talk, oblivious to the fact that I may have work to do.
Today you're here working in the office and when you spotted me [at my desk working, piles of paper littering my desk] you proceed to engage me in conversation of course. After you finally left, I realized that you think I'm actually a past employee who left the company years ago! I always wondered why you would ask me if I've been back out East lately [sidebar: former employee is from out East].
Last week you told me about how you were trying to lose some weight; this was moments before I watched you eat greasy fried chicken for lunch and a day before you brought in your homemade chocolate truffles to work. So yeah, good luck with that weight thing.
Today I set up a user account and password for you (which I emailed to you) so that you could use our online time-tracking system. I can't believe you just came over to my desk and told me you needed a user name and password - you even said you read my email!! Are you blind too?!
Ok so my fantasy of you being fired a little while back did not materialize. Fuck. Perhaps you were meant to stick around a little longer to provide me with an endless supply of shit to write about.
Today you're sick and are not coming in to work. I love how you emailed the whole company using the staff email address and then CC'd me. You've obviously learned your lesson that you are supposed to let me know but is it necessary to CC me? I received the email you sent to us, I don't need another copy of the same thing!
Did you really honestly think I was talking to you when you stood in front of my desk as I was sitting there with the phone to my ear and talking into it? Ummm no. I was on the phone and talking to someone else. That means its rude for you to stand in front of me, waiting and listening to my conversation. It's also stupid to answer the question I just asked of my friend as if I was actually talking to you.
When you don't tell me something important that I learn of through a third-party, its the same as lying. It's disrespectful and insulting to my intelligence.
